WEDNESDAY WORDS: CAN LOVE BE WASTED?

Among my ongoing efforts at writing my third novel, and my pitiful attempts at marketing my first two, I spend probably way too much time on social media. True, it’s limited to Facebook and YouTube. I have an Instagram account but never use it. I’ve never been on Twitter or any of the others and don’t plan on doing so.

But I do check Facebook several times a day. Once in a while, I get inspiration for writing, or at least come across things that make me go “hmmm.” One of those today complained about wanting a refund for all the love they “wasted” on people. Since I’m in the business of writing about romance and happily-ever-afters, I paused to consider that. Is love really ever wasted?

I may be overthinking it—which happens all the time—but my first thought was to separate what kind of love it was. That may make a difference. Well, let’s see.

I’ll start with the easy stuff. Romantic love: can that be “wasted?” Unrequited—yes. Unsuccessful—of course. But wasted? The old saying goes, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” I believe in that, no matter how painful the “lost” part may be. Real romantic love has occurred only a few times in my life, twice leading to marriage. None of them, even the failures, were ever wasted in my mind. Wasted? Not a chance.

Familial love, whether for parents, siblings or children, can never become wasted for me. It’s not just because of what those people have done in my life. It’s because of who they are. There’s nothing more important and valuable than family. You love them no matter what.

What about all the other people in the world, most of whom you never will meet or have any impact on. Christians believe in loving your neighbor and your enemy. Doing so in my mind can by definition never be wasted. It’s not about them—it’s about you and what you believe.  

I think some people look at what they give, whether love or anything else, as a transaction. What is the return on investment? If you get nothing back, or worse, if you get only negative, hurtful things back, that means the transaction was wasted. Really?

Everyone is entitled to their own view on life, but for me, giving love is not about what I might get back. It’s something I offer to them, not something they take from me. I will not allow them or anyone else to keep me from loving others. It’s what makes me human. No regrets.